As they grow, children develop their personality and a life of their own based on the social environment they actually belong in. In fact, a number of psychological theorists claim to believe that social relationships and interactions are driving forces in their development. Meaning to say, as children, they are like sponges that absorb whatever it is that they see, hear, or observe in this external environment – which includes YOU. Yes, you!
As parents or guardians to these little ones, we should be mindful of our actions and reactions towards things that our children could be a witness to. This will help them analyse and filter as to what, why, and how to behave, respond, and act to certain situations they will be confronted with, as they grow. This is where CONFIDENCE comes into the picture. By default, children would always look up to you as to how you guide them, nurture them, and how you make them feel good about themselves. We’ve listed 3 key roles parents should do to boost CONFIDENCE in their little ones.
Here’s how:
1. Celebrate their success, and PRAISE them whenever it is due
No matter how small it is for you, celebrate little milestones because to them, it means the world. Whether it be a perfect score in a spelling test, or an award from a teacher for completing their homework, or a goal in their football team, be with them during these times and DON’T FORGET to praise them for a job well done. However, while doing this, remind them that it is not about the rewards you give after the success, but the idea that when they work hard and put the effort in, it will always feel good.
2. When failure gets into their way – NEVER CONDEMN, ENCOURAGE INSTEAD
Please don’t forget that your child is a work in progress and their mistakes are building blocks to the success ladder. If you want to be taken seriously, your child does, too! Do not give them the feeling that they’re being mocked, laughed at, blamed, or scolded every time they make a mistake. Unlike you, they might just curl up in the bed and feel bad about themselves forever.
Tell them that is okay to fail, this is how we learn. Failure is an experience not a feeling. Empathise with them for feeling low, but then talk about how they could do it differently next time so that this doesn’t happen again. Use the magic words such as “You can”, “there will always be a next time”, or say “you did your best and I’m proud of you”. Then the lesson is learnt, and you move on. The idea is you identify the issue, deal with it then you can move on.
3. Show them you TRUST them
Big word? You might probably say it is them who needs to trust you and not the other way around but believe it or not, showing your children that you trust them in the simplest of things you assign or allow them to do (e.g.: choosing the color of your new car, suggesting a name for a new sibling, or just asking his or her opinion in making a quick decision such as where to take the family for dinner) makes them trust themselves as well which will consequently allow them to build their self-confidence in the long run. It reassures them they are important and what they think matters and doesn’t everyone want to feel like that?
Remember, confidence is just one aspect of our children’s development and we could help you out in unleashing the inner capacities that your child already has. Be sure to check in regularly for other informative blogs! Ta!
I hope you found this information useful and if you'd like to know more about life coaching for kids please contact us and we’ll be happy to discuss this
further.